I legitimately think I am going crazy, like mental.

I legitimately think I am going crazy, like mental.

Something is seriously wrong with me, these thoughts in my head aren't normal and I don't know how to react to them. Thy are different to all the thoughts and feelings I have had before, I wouldn't really say they are like depressing thoughts or suicidal ones. They are more like "what am I doing here" "what's the point of living" I feel as f I am not me and like I'm just watching myself, like life's not real. I feel as if I'm living the last few days of my life but I'm not to scared or worried about it. As if its  inevitable . More often than not I feel as if someone is watching me. But I don't understand how I an get the feeling that I'm going to die, I mean I know everyone dies one day , however its more like I'm going to die this year, soon. I don't know how to explain exactly how I feel, my head is all messed up and I can't put how I feel into words. Its difficult to write down.

Ph0t0 b0mB Enj0Y

Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, hate less, love more and good things will be yours

Soooo, things have been going pretty good for me lately, I'm down to 63kgs. Although I have no Idea how as I haven't been going to the gym at all lately. Jenny hasn't talked to me since the Sunday of Home grown, not even on my birthday. She just can't handle the world not revolving around her! She is the most selfish person I know! She told Rosa that she looked pregnant, was just plain rude to all my friends and then wanted to leave at 6 just before all the best bands came on and expected me to come with her and when I told her that I wanted to stay she got so angry at me. Like yelling in my face. She ended up leaving and taking all of her stuff out of the hotel and going home. I didn't even do anything? I don't understand that woman. She's crazy. I mean it's kinda pathetic, she un-added me on facebook!! wtf? I don't see why I should have to apologize to her, it was the weekend before my 18th birthday. Yannick ended up staying the night with me, arr it was so cute! We didn't do anything, I thought that he would try but nope. Oh oh and in the morning we woke up and went shopping for him, and then got some foods from the supermarket and had a picnic in civic square! eee He's such a cutie!! :)

  I'm not going to school tomorrow, so in the morning I shall go to the gym and then go to Rosa's house and get drank :) tehhe It's athletics so there is like no point in going

I've been seeing Yannick quiet a lot lately. He is so super cute, I just want to cuddle him all the time :) That's so weird for me, I don't like touching. hah. He also told me that he really likes me, I think hes going to ask me out but idk if I want to. I mean I do but seeing as my relationship with Connor wasn't healthy at all and just plain fucked up. I like him so much, however I don't want to loose him as a friend. I guess I'm just scared of getting hurt, or being controlled 24/7 like Connor did.
Who knows what will happen I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Anyway Ive decided to make a few goals to start the year off, they are;
- Be happy
- Make someone else happy
-Go to the gym, at least 4 times a week!
-Lose 5kgs
-Save money!!
-Buy flowerbomb
-Do lots of homework
-Study for tests
-Eat healthy
-Do something cute for someone
-Lose 5 more kgs
-Do more around the house
-Make the people around me happy.