feel like dying

Swimming laps around a bottle of Louis The 13th
Jumping off of a mountain into a sea of Codeine
Im at the top of the top but still I climb
And if I should ever fall, the ground will then turn to wine
Pop, Pop, I feel like flying, then I feel like frying, then I feel like dying

I just want the pain gone and with the pain gone will come numbness I feel it consuming my body already.

I came to accept,
long ago that he would always be with me,
like a shadow.
He would always follow me.
That doesn't make it easier.
I will never get rid of this pain.
Constantly
tugging,
weighting me down,
smothering me.
Slowly, he will eat just a little bit to much
I will lose myself for good.
There is nothing I can do but stand back,
watch myself turn back in to the numb monster I was.
This time,
I'm going to be able to pull myself back.
There's no one to save, not anyone worth being strong for.

allergic

I had a allergic reaction last Thursday, went to the doctors, they gave me 8 random pills, and adrenaline. then called the ambulance. Had to stay in the hospital all day, I got to sleep for most of the time which was good haha. Today I went back to the doctors for a check up kinda thing and she said I have to get an epipen and referred me to the allergy department or something at the hospital. Pretty random shit, they don't even know what it was that I'm allergic to.

...

I think I need to stop drinking diet coke 

TIRED.