intresing (re-blogged form http://thisisthecollapserightnow.blogspot.com/2010/09/3-days-to-go.html)

Our psychological state allows us to see only what we want/need/feel to see at a particular time.
What 5 words do you see?

 I see: Hate, feel, dream, foul, fake. I don't really get it cause the longer I looked at it the more words I would see but the ones I had already found got lost, but the words do have some relevance I suppose. what ones did you find?

Ola is a babe

 These are some photos that I took of my friend Ola today, for our lookbook page. She is with out a doubt one of the most amazing,beautiful and fucking awesome people I know. I love her to bits! without her I would be all alone in this world. {: 

It's like I want to run away and never come back.

Lately my mood has been on a roll-a-coaster, one minuter its up and the next its shooting down into a dark tunnel, with goblins garbing at me. Any little thing can set it off, then I'll just get sadder and sadder or anger and more frustrated with myself.

The past couple of days I've been rather lively (if that's the right word) but then I just feel this cloud hovering over me. It's full of sadness and everything I'm running from. It just rushes back. To be quite honest I'm not even sure what I'm running from maybe it's reality, maybe it's me or maybe not. I just constantly feel like I'm not good enough, like people see right through me, like people wouldn't noticed if I disappeared. Watch me disappear.

Other people always let you down, I'm not even sure if there's one person I could truly tell absolutely everything to. Not one person I could trust with my whole heart. That's quite sad but so many people have let me down and I just don't fully trust anyone anymore. I'm constantly being ripped down, I try and build myself up as best I someone comes along and says something or does something and bits of me chip away, then I tear the rest of me down in self hate. I like destruction, I like pain, I like fire, I hate to show weakness, I am weak! I'm so weak and tired I want to go to sleep and not wake up for a very long time.

update..

I  never thought I would actually say this but I miss my mum! she's gone away and she comes back tomorrow which I am so very pleased about. Tonight my dads cooking dinner.. All I can say is that it will be interesting.


This past weekend my friend showed me lookbook and I'm pretty sure that I'm addicted to it! I only wish that I was actually pretty enough to put photos of myself up. :/ So instead I think I'll take photos of my friend Ola, shes so pretty, I'm actually so jealous of her. Shes the type of  person that are so amazingly naturally beautiful, however she doesn't see it her self at all. I wish she did.
I like taking photos and I'm sure it will be really fun, dressing her up and finding exciting places to take photos. I'll give you guys the link when we actually start. {:


At the moment I'm pretty stressed because in about one month my art folio is due and I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be done in time.shitbricks. I want to re-do like half of it! It's pretty shit. but I guess I should just get it done and then fix it to make it better. yeah, ill try that.. Wish me luck. 

Okay well I better go, bye. {:

skinny-filter

So here you are in your small little world
Kept up like a little precious virgin girl
To hear about your grace and your silly face
Wrapped up like a knot in a ball of shoelace
And every time I talk to you
it sounds like you're caught in a psychological flu

Don't ever let them see you cheat
Don't ever let them see you bleed
Don't ever let them shake your hand
Don't ever let them believe that scam

Skinny
And it will make you cry
Skinny
And it will make you lie
Skinny
And if it makes you soft inside
Skinny
At least you will not die

And if you take a good look at them
All caught up in their gracious-less win
Every sin is their seamless smile
Will go on for a countless while
And just because they think they won
It just means that the shit has just begun

Don't ever let them see you cheat
Don't ever let them see you beat
Don't ever let them shake your hand
Don't ever let them believe that scam

Yeah skinny skinny huh

I'm not too sure why, however I really quite like this song. Have a listen.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXBzzo-Wq00

3 months {: xx

Today is my 3 month anniversary with Connor. It's surprising how quickly 3 months have gone by. I feel like they have speed past me and left me behind in a mess. Soon it will be exams, fuuuuck me. I'm really not looking forward to them at all!and I'm deffs not ready or prepared for them! god.

My mum went away last night, so Terry (my dad) is staying at my house. Gah, I don't even know why cause I'm 16 and can look after myself and my brother.. kinda. I can almost not burn stuff when I cook dinner. My dad is actually so annoying, I strongly dislike him! He has a very frustrating personality lets just put it lightly.. we clash. plus I just have issues towards him, 'daddy issues' I call them, hes never been there for me and now it's too late I don't want him around. The only thing hes good for is money. {: All I can say is that I really can't wait for Tuesday when my mum arrives back home.

This weekend I don't have much planned, I'm spending today with Connor and we'll probably go to a latish movie and then tomorrow I'm thinking of spending the day with Ola.
hope everyone has a good weekend {:

hears a big fuck you.

I can't handle your shit. 
I don't no where we're going.

TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRED.

I want to sleep and not wake up. I'm so fucking tried my body aches. I feel like the living dead. -.-

asdfghj

Everyday makes me feel like even more of a failure.

bring on the stom!

To be quite honest today sucked! I'm not quite sure why it just did. :/

I've officially decided:

I don't like the sun. Its to bright.

Happy people just annoy me.

I don't really like to be touched..

I'm pretty fucking weird.

You can tell I'm such a positive person {:

Top things 5 things I love.

1. The rain.
I'm not really sure why but I cant describe the feeling I get when I hear it start to rain. 

2. My bed.
It's cozy and safe my special place. >.<

3. music
its pretty much my life.

4. Going places at night.
I find it rather exciting.

5. Would have to be dreaming sweet dreams.

balls of fluff.

"  Monsters are real and ghosts are too.  

They live inside us and sometimes, they win"