blogspots better. {:

Wow, I've been so entertained by tumblr that I haven't even remembered to post on here. I like tumblr but then I do really like this. I think that with tumblr it kind feels like you have to impress everyone, but here it's just like I can write anything I want and it doesn't matter. Its like my diary, it's special and safe.

:(

So I got dumped. Over nothing, I don't even know why. fuck this shit.

^.^

I just got back from my weekend away with Jenny. It was pretty good but now I'm super tired even though we didn't do very much , apart from eat, drive in the car, watch TV and eat more. Although it was good to get a way from Wellington.

Tomorrow is the first day of term 4 and I'm really, really not looking forward to it. We have about 3 weeks to revise before we go on study leave for exams. I think that I'm going to get a tutor for Maths, Science and English. They are pretty much my worst subjects, so all the ones that you actually need to do good in, I suck at. Great. I want to pass and gain entrince to university but I just dont think I'll be able to achieve this. :/ God I have a lot of work to do. Lets say goodbye to my life as it is and hello to the hard working me, if I will be able to find enough motervaition in myself!! 

Oh I made a tumbler the other day. It's pretty hard to use, I'm figuring out though. Follow me if you want (:
http://completeuttermess.tumblr.com/

I better go and get ready for school tomorrow, byee {: x

update & pretty pickies

I've just spent the last two days at my boyfriends house. I like being with him and his family, they are really lovely and his mum cooks the BEST food. I always eat so much there! If I lived there I swear I would actually be like obese. Anyway, I'm still sick. It sucks balls, although I'm a lot better than what I was. 

oh oh, I'm going away tmrow for the weekend, to jenny's batch. We're going to spend the out time doing much needed art  for our portfolios, that are due in 2 weeks! Arg :/ I hope to god that I get it done in time.

I'm board. haha so hears some pretty photos.

Gah! I hate being sick it's truly horrible.

FUCK THE HOSPITAL.

My best friend is back in hospital, she lost 150 grams which is like the difference between a large shit or not. It's fucking stupid the hospital wont help much, last time it made her much worse! fuckballs! They need to be fixing her mentally, but all they are concerned about is putting more weight on her and that's pretty much all. They are fucking idiots. god. I'm so angry right now! I'm sorry this probably doesn't even make any seance at all. I think I just need to get it out. I'm sorry. She was in hospital fo around 3 or 4 months, she missed out on so much school work and everything. I think it was probably the worst time of my life, it was horrible everyday was almost unbearable. I don't even know why but I just felt (feel) so responsible for everything like I should have done more to help her. She shouldn't have got to the stage where she needed to go to hospital. fuck. I just wish there was no such thing as fucking ana! It's a fucking stupid fuck, that should go fucking die and fuck! I'm sorry. The thing is that she is still sick, she still worries about how much she weighs, what she eats but shes got so so very much better! I'm so incredibly proud of her! I mean  she probably always will worry about it all . she actually fucking amazingly pretty and I wish I was half as pretty as her, even before she got sick I was pretty jealous of her. Ola i love you so much, you are beautiful! Be strong, you can win! you Will win! xx

To make matters worse today was just a pile of shit but not really but kinda. So it was my boyfriends birthday today and all day we were pretty much fighting, I got dumped because he found out that the other day I smoked weed with my best friend. He got so angry. I've decided that I'm never ever ever going to do it again! its stupid and it pretty much fucks up your life. Never again will i touch that stupid stuff, its really not worth it,! I need that crazy boy so much!

In the end he took  me back,  he just confuses me so much, I mean i love him so fucking much but god he can frustrate me, so so so very bad sometimes. We had sex.. To be honest it was quite good but the condom broke. :/ Tomorrow I'm off to go get the ECP (again) and try book an appointment to get the pill, I need it. I want to tell my mum but I'm just worried about how she will react, I'm pretty sure she knows or suspects something but who really knows.


Well I'm rather tired, better head off to bed now. hah
dream sweetly everyone {: xx