It's like I want to run away and never come back.

Lately my mood has been on a roll-a-coaster, one minuter its up and the next its shooting down into a dark tunnel, with goblins garbing at me. Any little thing can set it off, then I'll just get sadder and sadder or anger and more frustrated with myself.

The past couple of days I've been rather lively (if that's the right word) but then I just feel this cloud hovering over me. It's full of sadness and everything I'm running from. It just rushes back. To be quite honest I'm not even sure what I'm running from maybe it's reality, maybe it's me or maybe not. I just constantly feel like I'm not good enough, like people see right through me, like people wouldn't noticed if I disappeared. Watch me disappear.

Other people always let you down, I'm not even sure if there's one person I could truly tell absolutely everything to. Not one person I could trust with my whole heart. That's quite sad but so many people have let me down and I just don't fully trust anyone anymore. I'm constantly being ripped down, I try and build myself up as best I someone comes along and says something or does something and bits of me chip away, then I tear the rest of me down in self hate. I like destruction, I like pain, I like fire, I hate to show weakness, I am weak! I'm so weak and tired I want to go to sleep and not wake up for a very long time.