Okay so I don't quite know how to say this but I think I am actuallly in love with you. I'm not sure what being in love feels like but I do know that I love you with everything I have. I dont even think I would be able to live with out you! Its different when I'm with you to when I'm with anyone eles. You make me actually happy! and you make me think that one day I could actually be normal. One day possible soon it could almost be okay.
The only thing is that you could hurt me so bad, I'm scared to give you my all and tell you everything. I know the pain that you could cause me, if frightens me to be like this, dependent. I've always been the independent one who didn't really care what others thought. (well my friends would probz describe me as that.) But life with out you would be unbearable and I wouldn't be able to handle it. You are you absolutely amazing and then I'm just not. I don't know how you can stand to be with me but you are and I'm so thankful. I know I can be moody, frustrating, a bitch and just down right annoying most of the time. Some how you manage to put up with me. You make me the happyist I've been in so long. I just want to tell you that I love you so much, and I know I told you that I didn't believe that you could love someone when you don't love your self . well now I believe that you can because I fucking love you with everything I have. you are actually mean so much to me Connor! I would be utterly lost without you. <3
In truth, you like the pain. You like it because you believe you deserve it, and the fact that you’re putting yourself through pain means you are doing what you, by all rights, ought to do. You’re doing something right. Your ability to withstand pain is your claim to fame. It is ascetic, holy. It is self-control.
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