later that night 8:25pm

I'm so shit at everything. That's honestly how I feel I'm so ugly, too ugly to live. I feel like my relationship with Yannick is turning to shit and it's probs my fault. It always is. I want to be able to stay in my bed and sleep forever. I'm so tired of trying so hard. How can everyone be so happy all the time. I want to be happy and bubbly to be described as the happy go lucky one again. Not the awkward depressed girl. Why is faking it so difficult? I've been trying too hard for too long, now so why havn't I made it? Why?