I feel so alone and lonely, I'm so cold and tired and the urge to cut is really sticking in my mind. Usually I can shake it but lately it's been coming up more often than not.
I fucked a random on Friday. I shouldn't have done it. I really don't understand the point of fucking someone you don't have feelings for. I suppose it was nice at the time but waking up next to someone you hardly remember from the night before is not a great experience.
I just want to be wanted.
In truth, you like the pain. You like it because you believe you deserve it, and the fact that you’re putting yourself through pain means you are doing what you, by all rights, ought to do. You’re doing something right. Your ability to withstand pain is your claim to fame. It is ascetic, holy. It is self-control.
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