In truth, you like the pain. You like it because you believe you deserve it, and the fact that you’re putting yourself through pain means you are doing what you, by all rights, ought to do. You’re doing something right. Your ability to withstand pain is your claim to fame. It is ascetic, holy. It is self-control.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
What the dick happened to me? :o
Craaazy week! The other day some friends and I went to this guys house and we were all just chilling and smoking the drugs, something really strange happened to me. I really don't understand how it happened. I probably had just less than a bottle of champaign and then to buckies ( btws I have had so so much more than that before) and I started feeling really strange, it was effecting me so much. All I remember is feeling the time going really slowly and then speeding up super fast, everything was spinning and I was spinning the other way. The feeling was almost as if I was a minute ahead of time, watching myself however it didn't feel like I was myself. I was also having flash backs of my life. Like what the dick. I woke up in the morning at Rosa's house, I walked out to the lounge and Rosa was sitting there; I didn't remember anything really, that had happened the night before at that point. They all said that I was not talking at all and doing really weird things, such as lying on the bed waving my arms and legs! I pretty much had a seizure. Thinking back it was actually the most freaky thing of my life, but at the time I was just kind of thinking can I just hurry up and die. Theeeeeeeeeeen, last night I was with some other friends and we went to this guys garage, were just lacking it doing nothing at all really. I had a couple of tokes of a joint not really much at all, however I could feel it happening to my again and I was freaking out luckily we didn't go home to late and I just tried to keep busy and not think about what might be happening to me. It was probs the most embarrassing thing, like getting really fucked up around all these guys that I don't even know that well :/ and on top of that It makes me not want to do weed again but I know I'll still do it, I'm weak and I liked the was it has made me feel in the past, although not recently. Maybe it is all because I haven't been talking my pills much lately, idk. I need to sort my shit out. :L yeah.
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