I want to go away. I want my soul to transcend the physical incapabilities of my body. I want to leave everyone I know and forget all of it. I want to change my name. I want to be enlightened. I want to float in space. I want to shave off all my hair and grow it all new again. I want to leave and never look back. I want all of this, so much. So much in fact that in spite of all my wants, the only thing I genuinely need is to learn how to be right here. In exactly this form with exactly these restrictions and exactly these circumstances.
In truth, you like the pain. You like it because you believe you deserve it, and the fact that you’re putting yourself through pain means you are doing what you, by all rights, ought to do. You’re doing something right. Your ability to withstand pain is your claim to fame. It is ascetic, holy. It is self-control.
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